You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
