dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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