i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
