I CAN MOONWALK!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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