every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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