there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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