In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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