It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
