Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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