its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
