Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
