I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
