Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
