I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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