1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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