ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
