Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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