i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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