Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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