Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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