When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
