I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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