So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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