I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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