Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
