I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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