Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
false alarm, still single
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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