I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
