You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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