So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
