wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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