stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
