i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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