im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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