New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
