rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
