of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
