addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
