i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
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I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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