You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
