my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
