Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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