you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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