Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize