1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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