I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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