Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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