It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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