I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
