real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
