Jerry, you need to find god
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
