I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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