You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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