every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
These tits shall not be calmed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
