I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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