is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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