At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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