i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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