you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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