For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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