I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
