She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize