i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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