Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize