They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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