her vagine was all disorganized.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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