Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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