that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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