i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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