I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
